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Work-life Balance for Men
by
David B. Bohl
Sometimes
it's tough being a man. You're expected to do your job or run
your business, support your family, be a good husband and
father...and all while keeping your mouth shut about any
emotions you have, especially if they're negative.
But here's
the thing--the key lies in that little word above, "expected."
A whole lot
of the misery that many men endure comes from trying to live up
to external expectations. What are those? Here are a few
examples that might have been programmed into you:
* I am the
man, and must always BE the man.
* I am what I
do.
* I am my
ability to bring home a paycheck.
* I have to
shut my mouth and keep things to myself.
* I have to
bury my emotions.
* I can't
make mistakes.
* If I do
make a mistake, I can't let anybody know.
* I have to
quietly solve my own problems without anybody knowing that I had
any in the first place.
* If I show
fear, that's a sign of weakness, making me something less than a
man.
* Not only
must I remain stoic, but I'm also expected to keep up a front
that everything in my world and in my life is great, especially
to those who are closest to me.
* I'm
expected to be the bead-winner and have a constant innate drive
to always get ahead and be more than I am today.
* I am judged
by what I acquire -- house, car, real estate -- MONEY.
* Successful
people don't have to play by the rules -- they can leave work
early to play.
* I am
expected to work long enough to accumulate massive wealth.
* Then, to
show that I've arrived, I can retire early, lead a life of
leisure, and live off of my investments.
www.salmonagency.com
Now let's
think about where you got those expectations, because you didn't
choose them, did you?
Nope -- you
got them from your parents, your schooling, your teachers, your
mentors, and your friends - you learned them from society.
And each of those reinforced what the others taught you.
If you
slipped up and started making your own choices, your buddy or
your dad or your teacher would say, "C'mon, that's not what men
do!"
As if being a
man is all about what you do...think about that one for a
minute.
Living a life
out of balance means you're constantly rushing around trying to
live up to what everyone expects from you...and the problem is
that the expectations are set sky-high.
Life balance
starts by freeing yourself of the expectations set by others.
David Bohl of Reflections Coaching, LLC, has these suggestions
for breaking free:
1. Sit down
with a pad of paper and a pen and make a list of all the things
you "have" to do and "have" to be.
2. Next,
beside each expectation, make your best guess of where those
"have-tos" came from--parents, school, friends, or where?
3. Now take a
new piece of paper, and write your own expectations in the form
of goals for yourself--what you want to be.
4. Make a
plan to take steps to free yourself of other's expectations,
except where it makes sense to take other's wishes into
consideration (such as those of your wife and kids.)
When you can
life live on your own terms, setting your own goals and living
up to your own expectations, you'll be happier and more
productive.
M
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David B. Bohl, owner of REFLECTIONS
Coaching LLC, has been on a truly unique journey. Prior to
launching his coaching practice, David gained his life's
experiences, knowledge, proficiencies, and awareness as an
entrepreneur, business owner, venture capital investor, and
philanthropic patron, as well as from the hierarchical world of
a global investment bank. Upon "succeeding" at each stage in his
professional life, David tired of life's seemingly impossible
mandate to relentlessly strive to get further ahead in life at
almost any cost rather than reveling in life as we know it. He
divested himself of all of his business holdings and began his
pursuit of a more enjoyable and rewarding life, ultimately
leading him to his passion for articulating to his clients a
process whereby they can focus and expand their presence and
vision. Consider contacting David B. Bohl at
Reflections Coaching and visiting his
blog at
REFLECTIONS on Balance. 
Written by: David B. Bohl,
davidbohl@reflectionscoachingllc.com
http://www.reflectionscoachingllc.com
Inspiring
others to define and create well-balanced, fulfilled lives and
lifestyles. |
